According to the BBC the badger cull has not been going to plan as a result of some devious moves by the badgers.

The marksmen have failed to meet their targets (gettit?) because the badgers have been moving the goalposts. I must admit I was a little puzzled by this statement. I thought the marksmen were going to shoot the badgers, so what has that to do with goalposts? Then I realised

goalposts – shoot

The marksmen wern’t using rifles to hit the wee fellows; they were using footballs! When the badgers wandered between the goalposts they would ‘shoot’ and kill the badger stone dead with a football. Now I don’t know how many goals our players score these days but it seems to me that’s going to take a long time.

Then, of course, the badgers, being no fools, decided to move the goalposts. Well, wouldn’t you? I certainly was not aware that badgers could move goalposts, but they have survived a long time, goals or no goals. What have the government said about it?

Environment Secretary, Owen Paterson, complained that the badgers were ‘wild animals’. I suppose that’s true but then he should have thought of that before he started the cull. I don’t know what they are going to do now, perhaps issue the marksmen with rifles? I just hope the badgers don’t respond in kind this time.

Have the government scored an own-goal with this? Well it wouldn’t be the first time.